65. More Interesting in Person

I was just trying to get into the dorm lobby, but it was locked. I knocked for a girl nearby to come open it, and she opened it. The dining hall was to the right of the entrance, so I went to see if they left anything out to eat. There wasn't anything, but the same girl was stuck in the cafeteria and was ferociously pushing the door, so I went to open it. Haha... what a coincidence...

haha..

It was more interesting in person.

64. Sweetbitter Anniversary

Sweet because of our intimate experience.
Bitter because it was a warning.

Sweet because it was out of love.
Bitter because it was painful.

Sweet because you reminded me that you care and are always watching out for me.
Bitter because I realized I didn't appreciate your care.

Sweet because you've never left me since the day we fell in love.
Bitter because I often left you.

Bitter because I failed you.
Bitter because I was unfaithful.
Bitter because I didn't keep my end of the commitment.

But...

Oh, so sweet, so very sweet, because you are greeting me yet again... with open arms.

It's been two years, and today is a Sweetbitter Anniversary where the sweet overpowers the bitter.

63. Personal Decision

"I shall not die, but live,
And declare the works of the LORD.
The LORD has chastened me severely,
But He has not given me over to death." (Ps 118:17-18)

"I shall not die, but live."

This is a personal decision. This is a personal decision to choose life over death. Even though God has chastened him severely, and it seems that it would just be easier to give up now, he does not. Even though it seems that he only discovers deeper and darker falls, he still sees hope. Though no more chances should be given, there is a chance.

There is a chance because God has not given him over to death.

And where there is a chance, there is a choice. Will he choose to stay in spiritual death and take the easy way? Or will he choose to live and strive to diligently declare the works of the Lord?

This is a personal decision. This is a personal decision to get up, try again, and live.

62. Overconfident Canine

Behind the bush, the wolf quietly sniffs for that scent. He shifts his eyes and verifies his detection. Lightly and swiftly, he makes his way up the forresty mountain, following the trailing odor of... the beast.

With agility, he keenly avoids crunchy leaves and noisy sticks. He sniffs again. That carnivorous beast is just a few feet ahead. The wolf hears a rustle. It must be the beast.

He slides behind a large oak and slowly peers his head to catch a glimpse of right where he thinks that clawed creature should be.

!

There's nothing there.

Suddenly, the wolf realizes he had not been careful enough. He realizes he had gotten too complacent and overconfident. His ears prick, and his eyes open as he discovers that there is something breathing behind him, inhaling and exhaling. Inhaling... Exhaling...

61. Lethargy, Much Lethargy

He reached for his phone to check the time. "8:24am? It's been a good 9 or 10 hours of sleep." However, class was at 12:30pm. He sluggishly flipped and turned around in bed for time to pass. He didn't want to get up. He was tired and unmotivated.

After finally getting up at around 10:30am, he wasted some time on the internet, ate, and went to class. After class, he went to an appointment with his professor to talk about a paper. Then, he went back to his room and thought about all the things he had to do: 2 problems sets, a big assignment, a research paper, an application, an online test, a problem session at 4pm, and the list goes on. Many things he should've already started. Many things he should be starting. However, he just sat in his room with no desire to work, no motivation to do anything--only lethargy, much lethargy.

Time passed and he realized he missed the problem session, hadn't cleaned his room, and was still swamped with much work he would have to do later...still swamped in lethargy, much lethargy.

60. Come Quickly

For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.

Be pleased, O Lord, to save me;
O Lord, come quickly to help me.

40:12-13

59. Trilemma

"Put your hands up and slowly walk over here."

"No, Albert, don't listen to them!"

As I stand in the middle of the uneasy bridge in confusion, I can feel the ropes beginning to tear and the rotted wood beginning to crack. Far below me is a dark valley, awaiting my death if I do not make a decision soon. To my left is a band of thieves, to my right a young woman.

"You know it's useless going back. Come with us, and you'll discover excitement you've never known. Stop being a coward and get on over here before it's too late!" The thieves laugh. "Hahaha. We know you want to come with us. Stop pretending."

"Albert, don't listen to them! They're only lying to you! You know there's nothing good about them. You know if you leave us and follow them, you will be destroyed. Albert. Albert, look at me. Come back."

AARGH. What am I doing on this bridge? How did I get myself into this trilemma?