114. Perfection

I've always been quite the perfectionist. From refining the shading in Elementary School drawing projects to minimizing errors on High School Math tests, I have repeatedly desired to hand in something as close to perfect as possible.

However, recently, it seemed that my reach for perfection in school work and church work had become more a sheer satisfaction with mediocrity and minimum. This may have been a result of fear of disappointment from high expectations, lack of equal motivation from peers, and a dearth in faith. Overall, standards had become undeniably lower.

But even though my standards may have dropped, His standards never change. And if that is the case, what happened to striving toward these standards to please Him? What happened to the perfectionist who always sought extra credit? What happened to running as if only one gets the prize?

It's time to raise the standards again. It's time to pay attention to all the smudges and creases. To surpass the righteousness of the Pharisees and teachers of the law. To give to the one who asks and not turn away from the one who borrows. To love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me. To greet not only my brothers.

It's time to be perfect as my heavenly Father is perfect and press on toward the goal!

113. Sermons

I recently started listening to sermons again.

While eating dinner just now, I was quite stunned when Pr. Hwang mentioned briefly in a sermon the name of Brother Daniel Zheng (This brother was shot and died in San Francisco when he went out to buy a mother's day card). Just yesterday at GG, Lulu mentioned him because we were talking about youngest people who attended the first NYTS in 1992, and she told me his story.

I'm convinced that this compelling coincidence was not mere coincidence. Perhaps God is telling me something. In the sermon, Pr. Hwang emphasized that if we live, we should not live for ourselves (though everyone lives for themselves). We must live for Jesus.

When I heard "We must not live for ourselves!" ringing through my 1st generation iPod touch, I couldn't help but feel my inner man strengthening.

This is something I really like about listening to sermons. Even though some teachings may not be "new", listening to someone talk about it with full conviction and power is very refreshing.

112. For the Help of Man is Worthless

Give us aid against the enemy,
for the help of man is worthless.
With God we will gain the victory,
and he will trample down our enemies. (Ps 108:12-13)

One might find it difficult to believe that "the help of man is worthless."

In fact, from the eyes of the world, the only help available is the help of man. And people happily rely on this because the capabilities and potential of man are "great." (Look at the medical and technological advancements man has made in the past century!)

However, during both physical and spiritual struggles, whatever help the fleshly arm can provide (how ever "great" it may possibly be) is worthless compared to the arm of God. And to believe this is the core of what we call faith.

With this hard-to-come-by yet simple faith in our God, we can indeed trample down our enemies. God will trample down our enemies.

Who will bring me to the fortified city?

Is it not you, O God, you who have rejected us
and no longer go out with our armies?

Give us aid against the enemy,
for the help of man is worthless.

111. Surprise

At the back of every little kid's mind, there is a small hope of getting a surprise from their parents. "Maybe Mom will take me to Disneyland today instead of school." "Maybe Dad will give me a puppy for my birthday." Even though for many kids, the likelihood is close to none, there's still that small spark of hope somewhere deep inside.

However, as we grow older, we realize that these fantasies are unrealistic as we live year by year without such surprises. Not long, we forget we even once had these wishful expectations.

But... would we lose hope and forget if the surprise were a promise?

110. Weeds Are Wrapped Around My Head

The waters surrounded me, even to my soul;
The deep closed around me;
Weeds were wrapped around my head. (Jonah 2:5)

This isn't just physical. The waters surrounded him even to his soul!

Have you ever felt this way? Waters surrounding you. The deep and darkness closing in on you. Your face wrapped with seaweed--unable to see, hear, or speak. Suffocating.

You're soul has fainted because of your sin--because you have rejected your God and gone against His ways. But yet, there is hope for ye hopeless! Oh really? Hope again?

When my soul fainted within me,
I remembered the LORD;
And my prayer went up to You,
Into Your holy temple. (Jonah 2:7)

Oh Lord, help me! Return to me and deliver me out of this endless churning in the stomach of the fish. Speak to that which is trapping me with your voice of authority. Then, I may be spit out (Jonah 2:10). Then, I may be freed.

109. Tree of Life

During PMVP prayer last night, as I prayed about Geodude's decision to continue with his PhD or to work, I thought, "What if each option was equally okay with God?"

Of course, such a decision could matter a lot to us, but neither is forbidden. And let's say God did not command or give hints to choose either. In that case, wouldn't it be like eating any of the other fruits in Eden?

Then, I thought to myself, "Adam and Eve could freely eat any of those other trees. But, why eat from those trees when you could eat from the tree of life, which is way more awesome?"

At that moment, I realized I really wanted to eat from the tree of life. It's more than just a tasty, pretty tree (Gen 2:9); it can make you live forever (Gen 3:22)!

But I couldn't. There are angels guarding it (Rev 21:12), and nothing impure can ever enter (Rev 21:27)--only those who overcome (Rev 2:7, 21:7). Thinking about this made me want to overcome and pursue spiritual purity.

Adam got to taste fruit from the tree of kogae, but was it really worth it? His sin prevented passage past the cherubim guarding the tree of life (Gen 3:24).

The same goes for the people of God today. Tolerating small or large impurities sometimes seem okay, especially when we have convinced ourselves into lowering our perception of their severity. But nothing impure can ever enter! Either you're out or you're in. Either you die or you live forever.

How much do I want to eat from the tree of life?

108. He Punishes But Still Loves

30 “If his sons forsake my law
and do not follow my statutes,
31 if they violate my decrees
and fail to keep my commands,

32 I will punish their sin with the rod,
their iniquity with flogging;
33 but I will not take my love from him,
nor will I ever betray my faithfulness.

34 I will not violate my covenant
or alter what my lips have uttered.
35 Once for all, I have sworn by my holiness—
and I will not lie to David—
36 that his line will continue forever
and his throne endure before me like the sun;
37 it will be established forever like the moon,
the faithful witness in the sky.” (Ps 89:30-37)