1. Home

how shall i compare how i feel to be home? it's like...
...testing a tumor for cancer and then realizing it's benign.
...or losing your cell phone and then realizing it was under a few sheets of paper next to the piano.
...or like after eating all the brussel sprouts in your plate and then enjoying the chicken katsu and rice.



mm..

when i was studying for finals i really just felt it was so impossible. i didnt understand so much and there was too many things to study. so hard to concentrate and focus. taking the finals... aw man.. i could only ask for mercy from God afterward..
really thank God for taking me through those..

after finishing those final leaps, i was so glad to come home. back to socal for an awesome summer. back to parents who pamper me. back to relaxing and not feeling like i can't continue on.

but it seems like i'm too relaxed. that i can't really focus at all and keep alert. it's like i let my guard down and all parts open to attack. taking the finals, i had to really just hand everything to God. but now i have nothing like that to worry about... the sufferings have past...

and thus the testing began. and such failure.

how can we arm ourselves? especially in times of prosperity? relaxation from work? enjoying the katsu chicken?

1 Peter 4:1
Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin.

our weapon is the mind of suffering. even though our bodies may be resting, our minds never are. always alert, always ready. bearing an attitude of suffering--willing to suffer, reminding ourselves of the suffering that is necessary to live a holy life.